Yesterday I was Dumpster Diving
In honor of the women's marches and sister's march, I'm keeping it real.
I finally found confidence in that I am more than a mother, sister, cousin, friend I am my own soveriegnty.
I created my life in a conventional way and the whole time I was lonely and I had these CRAZY and wonderful ideas. Truly my dreams are all that have sustained this physical body even when I forgot them alot!
Yes I love my husband and children and I would die for them. But the present hook is how PRESENT and in the NOW can I be while keeping 100% true to myself. I have found that for me to feel authentic is to be 100% present with them and carve time to be 100% present with myself. Otherwise there is this feeling of incompletion.
The slippery slope is THAT I have my bodily rhythyms and schedules and they all have their own so it's not easy and it's never 50/50.
If it's not an energy asset which makes me feel good then it's an energy deficit, which leaves me feeling depleted..and them too on a subconscious level if I'm not connecting with them whole.
And as of all this is going on, I AM practicing consciously of how I am internally speaking to myself.
So I am learning to transmute whatever it is into something I can dig too.
Yesterday the farmer called and he needed a hand. While I was really excited and preparing a lot of goodies coming your way...You guys are an energy asset. I feel energized and happy and I have a lot of fun because I am living on my purpose, serving you. We can live on purpose, have fun and family can still be a priority.
In fact, everything I do is so we can have more fun...
Back to the farmer, he knew I was trying to "work" but he was so excited by what he found on the other side of the farm in a dumpster. (My s.i.l. is building a house on the other side of the bogs).
He found a $500 air compressor, over $800 worth of nails, tile from Italy..this is just stuff the builder is dumping in this dumpster, it's not my sister's stuff. ..All of these tools he found he can use right now in building our barn. I chose to drop my stuff and support him, he who is supporting our family in his way.
Before, I would of course went but not really be present...my feelings would be elsewhere..does this make any sense to you...
And then my rhythm broke, all my focus went to hell in a hand basket, the kids came home from school, snacks, relax, dinner bath & bedtime. I accepted it.
Today I hoped to finish my ebook on the Moon Cycles and how they are part of our rhythm. But, I was asked to change the filter on the central vac, Jack is sick and in need of neb treatments, Migraine Magick and Mom.
Anna is having a girlfriend sleep over (Jack is not contagious) and David will be home after he and Jeff, my husband get home from Jeffrey's basketball game. Then lunch, clean-up, dinner, clean-up, helping Jeff in the middle and keeping an eye of Jack in between....I've accepted it.
So I do what I can, prepare for when I can, so when I can I knock it out of the park (pahk).
I hope you all take a moment to honor this special day in history. And please do something very loving for yourself. Remember we are all here for our reason. If you are still here reading this you have a purpose and if you don't know what that purpose is --your job is to find out. Because when you light up you give others permission to shine too! Massive love, Lisa
